There is a fine line between being nice, and being TOO nice. I have developed a list of things that tend to happen when you cross the line to step into the too nice realm.
1. You apologize for things that aren’t your fault. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “sorry” to someone who has shoulder checked me because they weren’t paying attention while they were walking. Saying sorry is a way of admitting you did something wrong. I will never forget one of my professors in college lectured us on the matter. She explained that you shouldn’t ever apologize for the little things or things that are beyond your control. You make yourself look guilty and that resonates with the person you are apologizing too. Chances are, if you are an apologizing addict, then you’ve been called out on it before. Let me guess, you apologized for apologizing?
2. You work WAY too much. I get it, some people are workaholics. I know I am. You burn yourself out at work: volunteering for extra shifts, covering for other people, taking on way too many tasks, etc. The problem is that you load so much on to that little plate of yours, that you can’t keep up. Next thing you know you’re pulling an all-nighter with 18 cups off coffee and 20 lines of cocaine. And come on you’re better than that, you know that much coffee is bad for you!
3. You have stalkers. You have this “too nice” aura about you. Everybody wants to talk to you, particularly the creepy weird people. It would be rude not to talk back, right? Next thing you know your BFFs with an ex-inmate who has tear drops tattooed all down his face.
4. Your trust-o-meter is broken. You trust EVERYBODY. Hmm today I think i’ll leave my car and house unlocked. My purse is sitting in the driver’s seat with hundred dolla dolla bills sticking out of it. But that’s okay… No one will steal it.
5. You’re new shirt bears a striking resemblance to a doormat. Let’s face it, people walk all over you. They know you will do whatever they ask you to do, so they take full advantage of that.
6. You never ask for help. Sure, people can ask you for favors all the time. But when it comes to you asking for a favor in return? Forget about it! You think you can handle everything on your own, and then you end up a big stress ball.
7. Making a decision is by far one of the hardest tasks. Where do you want to eat? I don’t care.. where do you want to eat? I asked you first! My god, try having this conversation with two indecisive people. You’re too nice so you don’t want to pick something that the other person might not like. You will probably eat something you hate if they suggest it, because you don’t want to feel bad for telling them you don’t like it.
8. You might as well change your name to Dr. Phil. There is no better listener out there than you. You can listen to people bitch about their lives all day. At the same time, you feel bad when you complain about anything. You don’t want to burden others with your problems, so you keep them to yourself.
9. You are awkward with compliments. God forbid somebody tells you that you look nice or they like your outfit. You don’t want to deny it, because you know how annoying it is when you have to consistently reinforce a compliment you give to someone else. You don’t want to say thanks because then you’re accepting what they are saying, and that would be vain.
10. Forget about getting someone to like you. Generally speaking, people are attracted to assholes. Nice guys (and girls) often finish last. I’m a true believer that you have to be a smartass to hook somebody. Instead, you are way too nice, so you end up talking to the creep at the bar all night long (you feel bad walking away, naturally) while all the stud muffins pair up with bitches.
I would rather be too nice than be a beyotch. But at the same time, us nice folk have to figure out when we are being TOO nice. We aren’t doormats and we shouldn’t be treated like one. Sometimes you have to be a hard ass to get what you want in life.
“The difference is too nice – Where ends the virtue or begins the vice.” – Alexander Pope