The 10 Worst Things About Going to the Gym

I’ve made a conscious effort to get back in the gym, and I’ve been going for quite some time now (the past 2 days). Most blogs and websites seem to talk about how great the gym is and all of the wonderful things you can do there. They have you believing that you are going to see sunshine and rainbows as soon as you step foot inside. Now listen, this post is not to discourage you from joining a gym or exercising. I am merely here to inform you of all the awful things you might encounter, so that when you arrive you will be prepared and it won’t seem so bad. You’re welcome.

  1. It’s New Year’s Resolution Time. Everyone and their cousin has signed up for a gym membership as a New Year’s Resolution. Last night I went around 5pm (take my word for it… don’t do that). The place was absolutely packed! It’s like they put up a sign saying “Free Food Inside.” Not to mention, there was NO parking, so I had to park my car waaaay far away at the other side of the lot. And who likes walking 50 yards into the place that they are going to work out in? Nobody. I am reassured of that each night by the people who wait in their car for a front row spot to open up.
  2. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. Who’s the sweatiest of them all? Okay, seriously? Why do gyms think its okay to line the walls with mirrors? I get it, it’s so you can check yourself out while you’re getting all swole and what not (I personally feel awkward watching myself work out. You do you though). All that ends up happening is accidentally locking awkward eyes with someone across the room while I’m about to die on some sort of cardio contraption.
  3. The Dreaded Treadmill. I love to run. I’ve done a couple of half marathons in my day, and it’s generally my go-to exercise. But the treadmill? It’s the worst. For those of you who are outdoor runners, you know what I’m talking about. Two miles on the treadmill seems like an eternity and a half. And now they put these little TV’s attached to each one? Oh sure, let me watch this little screen that is a foot in front of my face while I’m jogging. Every time I get dizzy and have to look away for fear of falling off and dying.
  4. Beef Cakes. There are so many jacked people at the gym who disgust you and make you feel bad about yourself at the same time. What do they do, spend 18 hours a day lifting weights? And boy do they love the mirrors. You always seem them standing right in front of the wall doing curls as if they were in front of an audience at body-building competition. It’s just you in the mirror brah, just you. Take it down a notch or ten.
  5. Rated R Locker Rooms. I don’t get why everyone thinks it’s okay to just stand around buck naked in the locker room chatting with all your retirement home friends. It’s always the umm, how should I say this… “aged ladies.” Sure, they are comfortable with their bodies, as they’ve lived with them for many decades. But I’m not. Use a towel!
  6. Really Attractive. Good thing I’m not going to the gym to find a love connection. Why is it that guys can pull off the sweaty, just-worked-out look? When I get done at the gym, I look like a hot disheveled mess! My face at the end of it is some weird, blotchy, flushed combination of looking like I just got sunburned and then immediately turned really pale. I don’t get why the boys aren’t flocking towards me when I get done.
  7. Chatty Kathy’s. Don’t talk to me when I’m working out. Especially if I don’t know you. End of story. I barely have enough breath to get through the stairmaster let alone talk to you about your pet cat and all those newspapers you collect.
  8. Music Selection. I find it absolutely necessary to have music on when I’m working out. Don’t get me started on getting to the gym and realizing you forgot your headphones. You might as well just turn around and leave. The worst is when your iPod is on shuffle. You are at the peak of your workout, super into it, when all of a sudden the song changes from Eminem to Adele or something. Not okay.
  9. Not Knowing How to Use the Weights. I am fairly familiar with most weight machines and their functions. Most of them are pretty self explanatory as there is only one possible way to contort your body to make it work. But I won’t lie when I say I’ve gotten a little over-confident before and walked up to a complex looking machine, thinking oh I can figure out how to use this. Wrong. I usually just stand by it for a minute, taking sips of my water, adjusting my iPod, while secretly scanning the machine for some sort of picture of how to use it. With no luck, I just do some awkward stretch and then walk away like I never intended to use it in the first place.
  10. False Expectations. Advertisements or pictures (like the one below) make the gym seem like a very happy place. No one smiles like that when they are working out! If these two were on the elliptical next to me I think I would be seriously creeped out. Just saying.

gym-2

These are just a few of the terrible things in relation to the gym. There are a ton more where that came from, but I don’t want to discourage you from working out. If all else fails, just steal all the treadmils and do this:

;

“Fear is what stops you… courages is what keeps you going.” -Unknown

10 Signs You’re Being Too Nice

There is a fine line between being nice, and being TOO nice. I have developed a list of things that tend to happen when you cross the line to step into the too nice realm.

1. You apologize for things that aren’t your fault. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “sorry” to someone who has shoulder checked me because they weren’t paying attention while they were walking. Saying sorry is a way of admitting you did something wrong. I will never forget one of my professors in college lectured us on the matter. She explained that you shouldn’t ever apologize for the little things or things that are beyond your control. You make yourself look guilty and that resonates with the person you are apologizing too. Chances are, if you are an apologizing addict, then you’ve been called out on it before. Let me guess, you apologized for apologizing?

sorry-card

2. You work WAY too much. I get it, some people are workaholics. I know I am. You burn yourself out at work: volunteering for extra shifts, covering for other people, taking on way too many tasks, etc. The problem is that you load so much on to that little plate of yours, that you can’t keep up. Next thing you know you’re pulling an all-nighter with 18 cups off coffee and 20 lines of cocaine. And come on you’re better than that, you know that much coffee is bad for you!

3. You have stalkers. You have this “too nice” aura about you. Everybody wants to talk to you, particularly the creepy weird people. It would be rude not to talk back, right? Next thing you know your BFFs with an ex-inmate who has tear drops tattooed all down his face.

4. Your trust-o-meter is broken. You trust EVERYBODY. Hmm today I think i’ll leave my car and house unlocked. My purse is sitting in the driver’s seat with hundred dolla dolla bills sticking out of it. But that’s okay… No one will steal it.

5. You’re new shirt bears a striking resemblance to a doormat. Let’s face it, people walk all over you. They know you will do whatever they ask you to do, so they take full advantage of that.

doormat

6. You never ask for help. Sure, people can ask you for favors all the time. But when it comes to you asking for a favor in return? Forget about it! You think you can handle everything on your own, and then you end up a big stress ball.

7. Making a decision is by far one of the hardest tasks. Where do you want to eat? I don’t care.. where do you want to eat? I asked you first! My god, try having this conversation with two indecisive people. You’re too nice so you don’t want to pick something that the other person might not like. You will probably eat something you hate if they suggest it, because you don’t want to feel bad for telling them you don’t like it.

8. You might as well change your name to Dr. Phil. There is no better listener out there than you. You can listen to people bitch about their lives all day. At the same time, you feel bad when you complain about anything. You don’t want to burden others with your problems, so you keep them to yourself.

9. You are awkward with compliments. God forbid somebody tells you that you look nice or they like your outfit. You don’t want to deny it, because you know how annoying it is when you have to consistently reinforce a compliment you give to someone else. You don’t want to say thanks because then you’re accepting what they are saying, and that would be vain.

10. Forget about getting someone to like you. Generally speaking, people are attracted to assholes. Nice guys (and girls) often finish last. I’m a true believer that you have to be a smartass to hook somebody. Instead, you are way too nice, so you end up talking to the creep at the bar all night long (you feel bad walking away, naturally) while all the stud muffins pair up with bitches.

I would rather be too nice than be a beyotch. But at the same time, us nice folk have to figure out when we are being TOO nice. We aren’t doormats and we shouldn’t be treated like one. Sometimes you have to be a hard ass to get what you want in life.

“The difference is too nice – Where ends the virtue or begins the vice.” – Alexander Pope

My Personal Brand Video

For those of you who don’t stalk my “About Me” page, I posted a video I made that discussing this blog and my personal brand. I made it so convenient for you that you don’t even have to click the about me page, it is just a blog entry of it’s own now. You are so welcome. Stay tuned for a blog about branding yourself.

He Puts the Zach in “Zaching”

Zach Lederer had just come out of surgery to remove a brain tumor, when he struck the now famous “Zaching” pose. He wanted to let his friends and family know that the cancer hadn’t beaten him, and they didn’t need to worry. Little did he know it would turn into a worldwide phenomenon.

Zach, an 18 year-old University of Maryland student (big shout out to the Terps!) was first diagnosed with having a brain tumor in 2004 when he was only 11 years old. The battle, which was thought to be over, returned to his life last December. The doctors found a new brain tumor, which meant for Zach it was time to start fighting again. This photo, originally taken by Zach’s Dad to show his friends and family that he was doing okay, went viral in a matter of weeks. It has been seen on news channels nationwide, and he was even featured on ESPN’s College Game Day (Check the video out here).

I had the opportunity to ask Zach himself a couple of questions, and let me tell you, this guy is nothing short of an inspiration. When asked what he wants to come from Zaching, he said “my message would be to not only fight the battle and be strong, but to support everyone else who is going through a similar situation. Everyone is affected by cancer in some way or another and they all need your support.” His goal is to spread awareness for all different types of cancer. As much as we see support for certain types of this disease, there are many patients who aren’t getting the support they need.

Zaching has caught on by celebrities (even Lil’ Wayne is doing it), athletes, coaches, and more. Zach’s favorites, however, are the ones of patients in the hospital because it means they received the support, and are passing it on to others as they battle cancer. I think we all need to take a lesson from Zach and anyone else battling cancer or a life-threatening illness. We complain about our day-to-day activities like work and school, yet these people are sitting in hospitals, going through treatments, and just trying to survive on a daily basis. On top of dealing with all of that, Zach has become an inspirational icon with this “Zaching against Cancer” sensation.

Having just finished his third round of chemo, Zach amazes doctors with his ability to work out every day, maintain an appetite, and overall just try to live a normal life. In three weeks he will start radiation, and from there he will continue with another round or two of chemo. This 18-year-old wonder has been through more than most people go through in a lifetime, and he still finds the time and energy to hang out with friends, stay active, and inspire others.

“I am motivated by the kids my age and younger who show so much courage and strength as they fight this disease. These kids are the strongest people that I have ever seen. I strive every day to fight as hard as they do,” Zach said. Everyone needs to find their inspiration and motivation, but it really takes a true hero to be able to donate it forward. Every day he tells himself “get busy living or get busy dying.” If that’s not tough love motivation, I don’t know what is.

I have submitted my Zaching photo, have you?

One of Zach’s favorite quotes:  “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” ~Jackie Robinson

Follow Zaching Against Cancer on Twitter @ZachingVsCancer as well as their tumblr and Facebook. Don’t forget to submit your Zaching picture to show your support for cancer fighters everywhere!