Motivation comes in many different forms. If you’re like me, when I’m stuck in a rut or just need a pick me up, I will go to YouTube for inspirational videos or look at Pinterest for some motivation. If you’re like me, you’ve also probably found yourself digging around for motivation for hours behind your computer screen. Seems a little counter-productive right?
We all need to find our own motivation. That means getting away from our computer (unless you are reading my blog.. then by all means, carry on). Most motivational posters and quotes are contradictory these days anyways. Take a look at these for example:
See, now aren’t you feeling conflicted?
These are just a few examples. The point is.. for every motivational quote there is an equal and opposite motivation quote it seems like. We have to find out how to motivate ourselves with our own advice. We are the best indicator of what works for us and what doesn’t.
Happy Thursday Everyone!
We were always raised to “try our best” and not to be a “quitter.” Well, society, thanks for setting us up for failure with your terrible advice.
It’s OKAY to quit.
Many of us spend our time trying to overcome quitting on a day to day basis. I’m not saying you should go out and quit your job, school, marriage, kids, etc. But there are some situations in which it’s best to quit and move on. I have outlined some of these circumstances when you should just raise up the white flag.
Skills (or lack thereof) and Talents:
“You can do anything you put your mind to.” —– Wrong.
I, for one, could never be an Olympic sprinter. For those of you who have seen me run, you know my legs don’t work that way. I could never be a flame thrower. Sure I could try and try and maybe, just maybe, I could get good at it one day. But am I going to keep trying knowing my lack of coordination? No. I don’t particularly think I would like being set on fire. Obviously these are very dramatic examples, but the same applies to sports, singing, acting, and even day to day activity. I can understand trying to stick with certain activities as a child, as you’re still developing mentally and physically. But I don’t think there are any 8-year-old little league players reading this blog. So for YOU, if you are miserable doing something that you are god awful at, and it is getting you no where, just quit. Move on to something that will be a more appropriate use of your time, and much more fulfilling.
Many people (myself included in this category) have been afraid to quit their job for a better one, or even look for new opportunities, because they are afraid of disappointing their current boss. You have become a valuable asset to them, and they spent time and money training you. You think, “What would they do without me?” I’ve learned after moving a couple different jobs for new opportunities that when it comes down to it, you boss does not care about you. At the end of the day, they need to run a business. They WILL replace you. If you can better yourself by leaving for a new opportunity… Do it. Don’t hesitate. No one ever got anywhere by standing still.
When you have a commitment to someone, usually there is a lot invested in it. Sometimes people get married just because they have a joint loan payment, or they bought a puppy together. They get sucked into this world that they don’t want to be in. It’s no shock that divorce rates are sky rocketed. If some couples just quit on each other before they get married, the world would be a much happier place. Ya dig? Relationships aren’t meant to be easy, and you shouldn’t give up on “the one” if things are a little rocky. But if you know deep down that they are not right for you… Welllllllp, see ya later.
Life isn’t made to be easy, and you shouldn’t quit every time something get’s tough. But be realistic, have a back up plan if you are determined to stay with your flame throwing or other far-fetched passion, and always be true to who you are (not who everyone else wants you to be).
“Quitting law school was the most difficult decision of my life. But I felt this great relief that this is my life and I can do what I want with it” – Carly Fiorina
I’ve made a conscious effort to get back in the gym, and I’ve been going for quite some time now (the past 2 days). Most blogs and websites seem to talk about how great the gym is and all of the wonderful things you can do there. They have you believing that you are going to see sunshine and rainbows as soon as you step foot inside. Now listen, this post is not to discourage you from joining a gym or exercising. I am merely here to inform you of all the awful things you might encounter, so that when you arrive you will be prepared and it won’t seem so bad. You’re welcome.
- It’s New Year’s Resolution Time. Everyone and their cousin has signed up for a gym membership as a New Year’s Resolution. Last night I went around 5pm (take my word for it… don’t do that). The place was absolutely packed! It’s like they put up a sign saying “Free Food Inside.” Not to mention, there was NO parking, so I had to park my car waaaay far away at the other side of the lot. And who likes walking 50 yards into the place that they are going to work out in? Nobody. I am reassured of that each night by the people who wait in their car for a front row spot to open up.
- Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. Who’s the sweatiest of them all? Okay, seriously? Why do gyms think its okay to line the walls with mirrors? I get it, it’s so you can check yourself out while you’re getting all swole and what not (I personally feel awkward watching myself work out. You do you though). All that ends up happening is accidentally locking awkward eyes with someone across the room while I’m about to die on some sort of cardio contraption.
- The Dreaded Treadmill. I love to run. I’ve done a couple of half marathons in my day, and it’s generally my go-to exercise. But the treadmill? It’s the worst. For those of you who are outdoor runners, you know what I’m talking about. Two miles on the treadmill seems like an eternity and a half. And now they put these little TV’s attached to each one? Oh sure, let me watch this little screen that is a foot in front of my face while I’m jogging. Every time I get dizzy and have to look away for fear of falling off and dying.
- Beef Cakes. There are so many jacked people at the gym who disgust you and make you feel bad about yourself at the same time. What do they do, spend 18 hours a day lifting weights? And boy do they love the mirrors. You always seem them standing right in front of the wall doing curls as if they were in front of an audience at body-building competition. It’s just you in the mirror brah, just you. Take it down a notch or ten.
- Rated R Locker Rooms. I don’t get why everyone thinks it’s okay to just stand around buck naked in the locker room chatting with all your retirement home friends. It’s always the umm, how should I say this… “aged ladies.” Sure, they are comfortable with their bodies, as they’ve lived with them for many decades. But I’m not. Use a towel!
- Really Attractive. Good thing I’m not going to the gym to find a love connection. Why is it that guys can pull off the sweaty, just-worked-out look? When I get done at the gym, I look like a hot disheveled mess! My face at the end of it is some weird, blotchy, flushed combination of looking like I just got sunburned and then immediately turned really pale. I don’t get why the boys aren’t flocking towards me when I get done.
- Chatty Kathy’s. Don’t talk to me when I’m working out. Especially if I don’t know you. End of story. I barely have enough breath to get through the stairmaster let alone talk to you about your pet cat and all those newspapers you collect.
- Music Selection. I find it absolutely necessary to have music on when I’m working out. Don’t get me started on getting to the gym and realizing you forgot your headphones. You might as well just turn around and leave. The worst is when your iPod is on shuffle. You are at the peak of your workout, super into it, when all of a sudden the song changes from Eminem to Adele or something. Not okay.
- Not Knowing How to Use the Weights. I am fairly familiar with most weight machines and their functions. Most of them are pretty self explanatory as there is only one possible way to contort your body to make it work. But I won’t lie when I say I’ve gotten a little over-confident before and walked up to a complex looking machine, thinking oh I can figure out how to use this. Wrong. I usually just stand by it for a minute, taking sips of my water, adjusting my iPod, while secretly scanning the machine for some sort of picture of how to use it. With no luck, I just do some awkward stretch and then walk away like I never intended to use it in the first place.
- False Expectations. Advertisements or pictures (like the one below) make the gym seem like a very happy place. No one smiles like that when they are working out! If these two were on the elliptical next to me I think I would be seriously creeped out. Just saying.
These are just a few of the terrible things in relation to the gym. There are a ton more where that came from, but I don’t want to discourage you from working out. If all else fails, just steal all the treadmils and do this:
“Fear is what stops you… courages is what keeps you going.” -Unknown
There is a fine line between being nice, and being TOO nice. I have developed a list of things that tend to happen when you cross the line to step into the too nice realm.
1. You apologize for things that aren’t your fault. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “sorry” to someone who has shoulder checked me because they weren’t paying attention while they were walking. Saying sorry is a way of admitting you did something wrong. I will never forget one of my professors in college lectured us on the matter. She explained that you shouldn’t ever apologize for the little things or things that are beyond your control. You make yourself look guilty and that resonates with the person you are apologizing too. Chances are, if you are an apologizing addict, then you’ve been called out on it before. Let me guess, you apologized for apologizing?
2. You work WAY too much. I get it, some people are workaholics. I know I am. You burn yourself out at work: volunteering for extra shifts, covering for other people, taking on way too many tasks, etc. The problem is that you load so much on to that little plate of yours, that you can’t keep up. Next thing you know you’re pulling an all-nighter with 18 cups off coffee and 20 lines of cocaine. And come on you’re better than that, you know that much coffee is bad for you!
3. You have stalkers. You have this “too nice” aura about you. Everybody wants to talk to you, particularly the creepy weird people. It would be rude not to talk back, right? Next thing you know your BFFs with an ex-inmate who has tear drops tattooed all down his face.
4. Your trust-o-meter is broken. You trust EVERYBODY. Hmm today I think i’ll leave my car and house unlocked. My purse is sitting in the driver’s seat with hundred dolla dolla bills sticking out of it. But that’s okay… No one will steal it.
5. You’re new shirt bears a striking resemblance to a doormat. Let’s face it, people walk all over you. They know you will do whatever they ask you to do, so they take full advantage of that.
6. You never ask for help. Sure, people can ask you for favors all the time. But when it comes to you asking for a favor in return? Forget about it! You think you can handle everything on your own, and then you end up a big stress ball.
7. Making a decision is by far one of the hardest tasks. Where do you want to eat? I don’t care.. where do you want to eat? I asked you first! My god, try having this conversation with two indecisive people. You’re too nice so you don’t want to pick something that the other person might not like. You will probably eat something you hate if they suggest it, because you don’t want to feel bad for telling them you don’t like it.
8. You might as well change your name to Dr. Phil. There is no better listener out there than you. You can listen to people bitch about their lives all day. At the same time, you feel bad when you complain about anything. You don’t want to burden others with your problems, so you keep them to yourself.
9. You are awkward with compliments. God forbid somebody tells you that you look nice or they like your outfit. You don’t want to deny it, because you know how annoying it is when you have to consistently reinforce a compliment you give to someone else. You don’t want to say thanks because then you’re accepting what they are saying, and that would be vain.
10. Forget about getting someone to like you. Generally speaking, people are attracted to assholes. Nice guys (and girls) often finish last. I’m a true believer that you have to be a smartass to hook somebody. Instead, you are way too nice, so you end up talking to the creep at the bar all night long (you feel bad walking away, naturally) while all the stud muffins pair up with bitches.
I would rather be too nice than be a beyotch. But at the same time, us nice folk have to figure out when we are being TOO nice. We aren’t doormats and we shouldn’t be treated like one. Sometimes you have to be a hard ass to get what you want in life.
No one likes searching for jobs. I’ve been fortunate enough in the past to fall into jobs or get referred to apply by someone I knew. Not that I didn’t work hard or have to interview for them, but it always helped me to have connections. But now, I am on the real, legitimate, resume-pushing job hunt. It’s awful. Throughout my process of looking for a gig that will benefit me in some way, shape, or form, I have created a list of all things that are terrible about job searching.
- Changing your resume and cover letter for every single job. I’m not talking about just inserting the company name differently every time. For those who are really serious about getting a job, they should change their resume and cover letter so that it relates to the job at hand. This sounds like common sense, but as someone who has been the hire-er and the hire-ee, I’ve seen it all. And not to mention most job applications ask you the questions about employment, education, skills, etc. that are ALREADY ON YOUR RESUME. Like, they ask these questions as if they expect to open your resume attachment and find a blank piece of paper. There are only so many adjectives I can use to describe my duties at previous jobs.
- Talking about yourself. I can sincerely say I hate hate HATE making myself sound like the greatest person that ever stepped foot on the earth. I mean… if the shoe fits. But doesn’t mean I like talking about it. Personally, I just find it uncomfortable when an employer says “Tell me about yourself.” Seriously? You already know my street cred from my resume and your endless questions. Now, something I’ve learned from interviews in my day is that employers can generally tell when you’re bull shitting. So unless you totally suck and have zero skills or experience to talk about (which if that’s the case maybe reevaluate your life a little bit), then just be honest. Most employers are looking for someone who is down to earth anyways.
- The Circular Filing Cabinet. Any time someone sends out a job application or resume (in particular for a posting listed online), there is no telling if someone is actually going to look at it. See number 1 for the reason why this is especially frustrating. It is proven (I think) that companies generally hire within or hire somebody through a connection they have. I stand by my claim that networking is the most important thing a person can do in an attempt to move up in the world.
- Condescending people. I absolutely hate when people are condescending. Like, oh, you don’t have a real job? (insert concerned look here). In my case, I’ve worked since I was 14 or 15 years old. I’ve had great jobs that I could have turned into careers. Just because I don’t want to be a corporate robot for the rest of my life doesn’t mean you should feel bad for me and talk to me like I’ve never had a job before. I feel bad for you for hating your life and the job you do have. So there.
- Skype Interviews. Okay, let’s talk about awkward. Do I look at the screen when i’m talking? Do I look at the little camera up top? Do I have to wear pants? So many questions.
- Inaccurate Job Descriptions. Every job description I see I’m like oooooh, aaaaahh that’s perfect! They all sound so glamorous. Some of them should really say: “Job Description: You will be our Bitch. Required Skills: Ability to be okay with hating your life. Salary: Hahaha. Good luck eating ramen noodles for the rest of your life.”
- Looking for work while you are still employed. It never fails, they always ask for the contact person at your current job. And all you want to do is write a little side note saying “Please don’t call.” You don’t want your employer to know you’re looking. If they are evil, which a lot of them are, then they will make your life hell until you finally escape.
Desired Salary. Well, my desired salary is a million dollars, but that probably won’t fly huh. I used to always put “negotiable” on all applications, but some are now actually requiring an amount. WTF. You don’t want to put an amount too high because then they will throw away your app in a jiffy. You don’t want to put an amount too low because they will pay you that, and let’s be real, that’s not really your desired salary. You are trying to step up in the world and avoid Cup of Noodles for lunch every day.
Craigslist Ads. Many companies these days put ads on craigslist for jobs they have available. I get that, it’s free for them to post, unlike some of the other job search engines. HOWEVER, I do NOT want to be an “adult” model or a maid for your free candy van. C’mon man!
Getting job offers. I know the thought of getting multiple offers at one times is absolutely dreadful. But seriously, no one wants to be that person that tells a company no after spending countless hours interviewing with them and telling them how much you would love a job there. I’d say just apply for one at a time, but that would be highly inefficient and you might be 80 years old by the time you finally find someone to take on your poor self.
If you are like me, and searching for a quality career opportunity… good luck! I’m sure you’ve experienced these things as well, and feel free to add more. Make sure to subscribe and follow me on twitter @NelsonKati
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”
– Milton Berle