No one likes searching for jobs. I’ve been fortunate enough in the past to fall into jobs or get referred to apply by someone I knew. Not that I didn’t work hard or have to interview for them, but it always helped me to have connections. But now, I am on the real, legitimate, resume-pushing job hunt. It’s awful. Throughout my process of looking for a gig that will benefit me in some way, shape, or form, I have created a list of all things that are terrible about job searching.
- Changing your resume and cover letter for every single job. I’m not talking about just inserting the company name differently every time. For those who are really serious about getting a job, they should change their resume and cover letter so that it relates to the job at hand. This sounds like common sense, but as someone who has been the hire-er and the hire-ee, I’ve seen it all. And not to mention most job applications ask you the questions about employment, education, skills, etc. that are ALREADY ON YOUR RESUME. Like, they ask these questions as if they expect to open your resume attachment and find a blank piece of paper. There are only so many adjectives I can use to describe my duties at previous jobs.
- Talking about yourself. I can sincerely say I hate hate HATE making myself sound like the greatest person that ever stepped foot on the earth. I mean… if the shoe fits. But doesn’t mean I like talking about it. Personally, I just find it uncomfortable when an employer says “Tell me about yourself.” Seriously? You already know my street cred from my resume and your endless questions. Now, something I’ve learned from interviews in my day is that employers can generally tell when you’re bull shitting. So unless you totally suck and have zero skills or experience to talk about (which if that’s the case maybe reevaluate your life a little bit), then just be honest. Most employers are looking for someone who is down to earth anyways.
- The Circular Filing Cabinet. Any time someone sends out a job application or resume (in particular for a posting listed online), there is no telling if someone is actually going to look at it. See number 1 for the reason why this is especially frustrating. It is proven (I think) that companies generally hire within or hire somebody through a connection they have. I stand by my claim that networking is the most important thing a person can do in an attempt to move up in the world.
- Condescending people. I absolutely hate when people are condescending. Like, oh, you don’t have a real job? (insert concerned look here). In my case, I’ve worked since I was 14 or 15 years old. I’ve had great jobs that I could have turned into careers. Just because I don’t want to be a corporate robot for the rest of my life doesn’t mean you should feel bad for me and talk to me like I’ve never had a job before. I feel bad for you for hating your life and the job you do have. So there.
- Skype Interviews. Okay, let’s talk about awkward. Do I look at the screen when i’m talking? Do I look at the little camera up top? Do I have to wear pants? So many questions.
- Inaccurate Job Descriptions. Every job description I see I’m like oooooh, aaaaahh that’s perfect! They all sound so glamorous. Some of them should really say: “Job Description: You will be our Bitch. Required Skills: Ability to be okay with hating your life. Salary: Hahaha. Good luck eating ramen noodles for the rest of your life.”
- Looking for work while you are still employed. It never fails, they always ask for the contact person at your current job. And all you want to do is write a little side note saying “Please don’t call.” You don’t want your employer to know you’re looking. If they are evil, which a lot of them are, then they will make your life hell until you finally escape.
Desired Salary. Well, my desired salary is a million dollars, but that probably won’t fly huh. I used to always put “negotiable” on all applications, but some are now actually requiring an amount. WTF. You don’t want to put an amount too high because then they will throw away your app in a jiffy. You don’t want to put an amount too low because they will pay you that, and let’s be real, that’s not really your desired salary. You are trying to step up in the world and avoid Cup of Noodles for lunch every day.
Craigslist Ads. Many companies these days put ads on craigslist for jobs they have available. I get that, it’s free for them to post, unlike some of the other job search engines. HOWEVER, I do NOT want to be an “adult” model or a maid for your free candy van. C’mon man!
Getting job offers. I know the thought of getting multiple offers at one times is absolutely dreadful. But seriously, no one wants to be that person that tells a company no after spending countless hours interviewing with them and telling them how much you would love a job there. I’d say just apply for one at a time, but that would be highly inefficient and you might be 80 years old by the time you finally find someone to take on your poor self.
If you are like me, and searching for a quality career opportunity… good luck! I’m sure you’ve experienced these things as well, and feel free to add more. Make sure to subscribe and follow me on twitter @NelsonKati
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”
– Milton Berle